Loss

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to write. So much has happened and I haven’t really been able to get the words out. I’m trying though.

I’ve had 2 major losses in my house in July.  It started on July 15 with the death of my mom’s older sister. Aunt Cathie was like a second mom to me in a lot of ways. While we knew that she had been sick, she had Alzheimer’s and was going downhill, nothing prepared me for the day that she actually died. The entire family was there. She was surrounded by the people she loved most in the world - her husband, children, grandchildren and sisters.  I miss her everyday. I miss “helping” her decorate cakes in the summers (meaning stealing some icing when she wasn’t looking). I love you Aunt Cathie and I know we will meet again.

The other loss happened on July 30. My beautiful Harper passed away. She was only 6. It has been so hard to put into words how much I love that fat little black kitty. And yes, I mean love. Not loved. It’s not past tense. Harper had an autoimmune disorder called Evans Syndrome that mimics liver failure. She started acting kinda punky on July 20.  There was a ton of construction going on at my apartment that week with the roof being replaced. Harper always was the more sensitive of the 4 cats so I figured she was just wigging out about that. I took her to the emergency vet on July 27 and her vitals were normal. The vet told me that if she didn’t start eating by Saturday, I needed to take her to her normal vet.  When I took her to the regular vet, they did blood work that showed her liver was failing.  Dr. Struck said that her liver values and blood count showed that she had Evans Syndrome and we needed to start steroids immediately. They took her into the back to start them. I got a call the following afternoon that she was not responding to the meds and I needed to make a decision. I went up there to sign the forms for euthanasia. My sweet, fat, amazing Plum passed away peacefully in her favorite place - Mama’s arms while I sang “You are My Sunshine” to her.  She had her tiny little black head tucked under my chin like she used to do when she was a baby and was scared and/or cold.

This little girl touched my heart. She always knew when Mama was hurting or angry or just upset about something. She would always cuddle very close to me. She slept right under me every night. I’m finally starting to get used to not having her to sleep with at night. Sniper has finally stopped calling for his little sister. Georgie is actually being a little sweeter. Saturn is Saturn. Still just runs at full speed around the house. She has kinda taken over Harper’s Head Bitch position and is relishing her newfound authority over the boys.

They say time heals all wounds. I’m waiting for that to happen. In the meantime, I watch for that little black hummingbird that flies into my porch most every Sunday afternoon. I am fully convinced that it’s Harper coming to check in with Mama. Maybe Aunt Cathie is with her. I don’t know. What I do know is this:  Harper will find me again when she’s ready to come home.  I know this without a show of a doubt in my mind. I just have to wait until she’s ready.