Family Support System

Sometimes, we don't think about the emotional support system that we have with our family.  I have a huge family and most of them live within about 45 minutes of my apartment.  My sister and cousin live the farthest away in Manhattan (sister) and New Jersey (cousin), but distance doesn't really affect the support they provide - especially with my sister.  This wasn't something that I really thought about until H's dad and I split up in 2010.  It's something that has been on my mind a lot since losing my job in April.

H's dad and I were together for 14 years and when we split up, I got the strongest emotional lifting up from my immediate family and from my best friend.  The first year, in true Pisces form, I pretty much locked myself away to deal with the pain and feelings of failure that I'm sure plague everyone at the end of a long term relationship - whether it be marriage or not.  I am very fortunate that these wonderful people in my life wouldn't allow me to lock myself away for too long at a time.  I am also fortunate that H's dad and I are good friends now, but that took a couple of years to get to this point.

Since I lost my job, all 3 of my parents, my brother and sister, my "big sister-cousins", and various cousins, aunts and uncles have been incredibly supportive.  They know that in my Pisces nature, I will hide away as I usually do when there is something on my mind that I am trying to deal with but don't really know how.  Sometimes, I wish that I didn't feel the need to hide, but as I get older, I know that it's just part of who I am and am learning to accept that.  My family makes sure that I don't hide away for too long.  They text me or call me to check on me, or say "let's go to lunch - my treat" or "come over and let's sew" (that's from my mom).  The lunch invitations are the best.  I'm always game for free food.

I know that it worries them if I don't call or text or communicate in some way with them regularly.  I talk to my mom at least every other day - often way more than that.  Like several times a day.  I talk to my sister almost everyday, whether it be by text or call or Facebook.  Same with my stepmom.  I talk to Daddy about once a week.

I talk to the elder "big sister-cousin" ("D") nearly everyday and to the younger one  at least once a week.  D and I generally talk very late at night after everyone else is asleep.  She doesn't sleep well and I don't have to get up in the mornings so it works well for both of us. She gives me the "shoring up", as we say, that I need when I need it.

I guess what this rambling means is that I am so thankful for my huge, loving, loud and crazy-ass family.  Without them, I think I would be in a heavily padded room with a long list of medications at Holly Hill.

Unemployment

Unemployment just sucks balls.  I was laid off at the end of April and still haven't found a job.  I think  I've sent out about 50 resumes but have only had 2 interviews.  Sigh.....

I think H is really loving me being home.  His dad and I share 50/50 custody so when H is with me, I'm here if he needs me.  I *know* the monsters, I mean cats, are loving it.  Mama doesn't leave the apartment for very long, if at all.  They have become more clingy than they already were.  Sniper follows me everywhere, Harper squeaks when I walk in the room and has tried to claim the laptop as her personal warming station.  Georgie follows me and meows and Saturn is just her normal crazy-ass kitten self.

If I've been sitting on the porch longer than they think is appropriate, one or more of them will start batting at the door to tell me to come in.  Usually, it's Sniper, but sometimes the other 3 will join in.  H will usually come out here with a cat.  He says he's just showing them outside, but I think it's to make sure that I'm still here and haven't left without him knowing.

You know that irrational part  of your brain???  Well, that part of me is absolutely loving being at home.  But the rational part is telling me that since I've made friends with the squirrel that comes to visit, it's probably time to go back to work.

I'm hopeful that I will start getting some calls for interviews soon.  I'm getting a little too comfortable hanging out in my comfy-shorts and t shirts.....

Happy Father's Day!

Today is Father's Day - you know, the companion to Mother's Day.  H says there needs to be a Kid Day, but I told him that was every day.

I have 2 dads - a Daddy and a Dad.  Daddy is my biological dad and Dad is my stepdad.  Both men are wonderful fathers and they each taught me different things.

Daddy and me

Daddy taught me about fishin', cooking fish, and major tackle box renovations.  He also taught me to drive him down to the  beach when I was 16 and we were both off work for the  day.  Daddy showed me how to parallel park so I could get my driver's license.  We must have parallel parked about 50 times that day and he didn't lose patience.  He taught me about the many things he learned while serving his country in Viet Nam.  "I learned how to do this in the Army" is the phrase that is still heard on a regular basis.  I'm not sure how much of what he said he learned in the Army was actually learned IN the Army or if it was learned through experience and being a NC State Highway Patrolman, but that phrase usually meant that I was either gonna learn something important or it was the beginning of an awesome story.   Daddy taught us all how to swim by throwing us in the shallow end of the  pool and said "swim".  Of course, he was right there beside us, but we did swim.  He attempted to teach us how to dive by standing in the pool, holding our ankles while we stood on the side and said "now jump."  Needless to say, it didn't work, but it was fun anyway.

I am my father's daughter

Some of my most treasured childhood memories are laying in the back of the truck while Daddy drove back from the lake.  I actually got to relive that memory when the family went to the beach for Daddy's 65th birthday a few weeks ago.  It was so fantastic to spend an entire weekend with Daddy and the rest of the  family.  It has been many years since I've done that and H has never done that.  I'm not sure who had more fun fishin' - Daddy, my brother, my niece or H......

Dad and me on his 80th
birthday (4.24.14)

One of the things that Dad taught me was to beware of those indelible mistakes.  He wrote a letter to me when I was in Brazil my senior year of high school reminding me of how much he loved me and to be cautious of those mistakes that I can't take back.  This still sticks with me even as an adult.  He always said that complaining about something or life not being fair was just kinda useless.  He would say "what's this 'fair' shit?  Nobody ever said anything was going to be fair."  He also taught me the importance of the words "just do it."  This could mean a multitude of things but the essence always seemed to be to stop complaining and get on with whatever "it" was that day.  The last thing (literally the last thing - it was just before he went into the nursing home) that Dad taught me was that if I pulled a practical joke on Mommie (the kitchen sink spray nozzle was rubber banded down and she didn't know it and sprayed herself while attempting to wash her hands), I was on my own with that.  But I could sit beside him since Mommie was less likely to get back at me if I was with him.  Dad has Alzheimer's and lives in a nursing home now.  The last time I saw him, he told me that he was a good secret keeper because "I have Alzheimer's so I'm just going to forget it anyway."

Happy Father's Day to both of my beloved dads.  Without them and their influences - and that of my mothers (Mommie and Lisa), I would not be the woman I am today.

I love you Daddy and Dad!!!!

Saturn is 1!

"Mama, there's a fly in the house"

Saturn turned 1 on May 28. She's much smaller than the other 3 and weighs in at a hefty 7.5 pounds.  She's very feisty and is almost as chatty as Sniper.  I thought Georgie ran a lot when he was teeny, but that's NOTHING compared to Saturn.  I swear, all the cat does is run.  She's either chasing the other 3 or she's running for her life from chasing the other 3.  She also likes trying to get in the dryer and the washing machine.  There is no counter that is safe, even though she's not big enough to counter surf with her teeny paws.  She also tries to trip me when I come inside by flopping over on her back right in front of the door.

"If you can do it, so can I"

She and Georgie have come to an understanding.  Saturn chases Georgie and then Georgie bites her.  Harper just kinda lets Saturn run all over her until she's had enough of the kitten shenanigans.  Then she swats Saturn upside the head, Saturn yells and runs off.  Sniper seems to tolerate her the best and tries teaching her manners.  They actually play together a lot.  "Playing" really means that Saturn attempts to attack Sniper, fails, turns a flip, bunny kicks Sniper in the jaw and Sniper tries to put Saturn's whole head in his mouth.  There is usually some hissing and meowing involved, but since it's not typically serious, I don't always intervene.

super comfy on H's lap

Saturn LOVES her human brother.  She sleeps with him in his chair and helps him play video games.  H has taught her how to run up the ladder to his loft bed.  He's working on teaching her how to get down without looking like a wounded gazelle jumping over a fence in the process.  It's not going too well, but they try.  I think she would stay in H's room or with him all the time if he kept a little bowl of kibble on his desk....

little pillow thief

happy babies on Mama's bed

I was worried that they wouldn't get along or there would be trouble when I brought Saturn home.  They've settled in very well and now take up a little more than half of my bed.  Even though I don't usually let them lay on my pillows, Saturn has stolen the pillow that is right beside my head and will swat at anybody who DARES to lay on her pillow.  And yes, that includes me sometimes.  That's when I have to remind her that I am the only one that can open the cans of wet food.

she does a fabulous rug impression

Happy 1st birthday, Saturn!!!  You run a lot, jump up the walls, practice kitten wall bouncing and like to hide behind the blinds (except it doesn't count as hiding if I can see you).  You have become very adept at playing "ooh what's under the covers" at night.  You make your Mama and human brother laugh all the time and you have made us very happy.

Christmas list for the cats

The cats have their own ideas about what they would like for Christmas. 

Saturn would like a baby hedgehog to play with but Mama said no. The other 3 would like the same or a live mouse but Mama said no. Sniper tried to argue with me that he wouldn't hurt it. He just wants to carry it around in his mouth. Mama still said no.  

After some grumbling and complaining and Saturn running for her life, they decided that they would like a new wand toy. Georgie ate their other one.  And the one before that.  And H's earbuds.  And the last roll of toilet paper.  Again...

They would also like a laser pointer because Mama lost the last one. And some new crinkly balls.  

Oh and Harper would like to eat more without turning into more of an egg on legs. Mama said no. 

And then there were 4....

I've officially become a cat lady.  I'm single, 40, and now have 4 cats.  Yes, I have 4 cats....  I think I might be losing it a little because I started to miss having a kitten since Georgie is now 2 and not as BAD as he used to be.  Since I'm not likely to be having anymore babies (human ones), H and I went to the Wake County shelter in July to just LOOK at the kittens.  I should have known better than to even go.  Especially since the shelter had waived all adoption fees for cats and kittens that weekend.  And they included a voucher for the first vet visit.  With my vet.  Sigh..... 

 We fell in love with this scrappy little grey and white female.  She was 8 weeks old and a Russian Blue mix.  I didn't really want another male since then I would really be outnumbered.  I also figured that Georgie would have a problem accepting another male being a bottle fed baby.  That and he likes to think that he's in charge of the whole operation.  Sniper puts him in his place often.  ANYWAY.... 





H and I discussed names on the way to the shelter.

Me: "what about Annabelle?"
H: "no"
Me: "um, Jezebel?"
H: (eye roll)
Me: "well you come up with a name"
H (as a Saturn something or other drives past): "Saturn?"
Me: "Seriously?  Saturn?"
H: "Yeah I like Saturn.  Plus she's gonna run fast."
Me:  "OK.  I'm just glad you didn't see a Dodge or a Toyota"

 So, we named her Saturn Annabelle.  I was insistent on the Annabelle.  She just looks like an Annabelle to me.  She's is fitting into the family quite well.  All she does is eat, run for her life, attack the other 3 cats - all of whom are at least twice her size - and occasionally sleep.  She likes to curl up under my chin in the middle of the night when she's cold, but then gets irritated if I accidentally lay my head on her.  Sniper adores her, Harper tolerates her and Georgie is still waiting to see if she's gonna go away.  He doesn't quite get that Mama can love another cat.  Well, at least not another cat that wasn't already there when he got there.  H absolutely adores her and she seems to love him - for now anyway.  She likes to curl up in his lap and help him play on the computer.  She's almost convinced that her name is "DAMMIT, GET THE HELL OUT OF THE DRYER!!!!"

Sniper (4), Harper (3), Saturn (6 months) and Georgie (2)

Now I have stair steps for cats - 4 years, 3 years, 2 years and 6 months.  I swear I'm done now.  I don't think my queen size bed can hold another cat plus me.  Besides, my apartment is only 1100 square feet and I can't afford a bigger one....

Sniper's 4th birthday

Sniper, age 17 weeks on the day he came home to Mama

Today, Sniper turns 4.  He came home to me after my ex and I split up.  As the resident old man in this crazy group of 4 cats and 2 humans, he has seen a ton of changes in the last (almost) 4 years.  He started out super whiny and he's just kinda gotten worse as he's gotten older. 

Sniper is crazy attached to me.  He follows me around like a dog and, well, I've kinda trained him like a dog.  Since he's most likely a Maine Coon mix, I figured that he was gonna be a big cat and needed to learn some manners.  So in addition to his name (which he knows so well that he'll look at the TV if he hears it), I taught him how to sit, stay, wait, up, around, come, drop it, leave it, bring it to Mama, get out of my room, out of my kitchen, don't be rude, and the most important one of all, I'M DONE AND DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE.  He runs when he hears that one and will meow pitifully from under the table like "I'm sorry Mama" so I'll pet him.  Fortunately, he doesn't hear that one too often.  Of course, he IS a cat so he will only comply with these commands when HE thinks it's a good idea.  Or for food - he'll usually comply for food.

he still sleeps like this a lot

He sleeps with me most every night.  Well, "with me" meaning that he's on the floor beside the bed under the air conditioning vent.  I have yet to find a people food that he won't at least try.  He loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with some milk to go with it.  And yes, he does get his own teeny sandwich.  I've never known a cat that will eat watermelon and apples, but he will. 

Fortunately, Sniper is very tolerant of all 3 kittens that he's had to be introduced to in the last 3 years.  He still kinda hates Georgie, but he's as attached to Harper as he is to me.  He's still waiting to see how he feels about Saturn but he really likes chasing her and swatting her feet out from under her so she'll turn flips. 

Happy birthday Sniper!  I hope we get a crap ton more years with you. 

Love,

Mama, H, Harper, Georgie and Saturn