Family Support System

Sometimes, we don't think about the emotional support system that we have with our family.  I have a huge family and most of them live within about 45 minutes of my apartment.  My sister and cousin live the farthest away in Manhattan (sister) and New Jersey (cousin), but distance doesn't really affect the support they provide - especially with my sister.  This wasn't something that I really thought about until H's dad and I split up in 2010.  It's something that has been on my mind a lot since losing my job in April.

H's dad and I were together for 14 years and when we split up, I got the strongest emotional lifting up from my immediate family and from my best friend.  The first year, in true Pisces form, I pretty much locked myself away to deal with the pain and feelings of failure that I'm sure plague everyone at the end of a long term relationship - whether it be marriage or not.  I am very fortunate that these wonderful people in my life wouldn't allow me to lock myself away for too long at a time.  I am also fortunate that H's dad and I are good friends now, but that took a couple of years to get to this point.

Since I lost my job, all 3 of my parents, my brother and sister, my "big sister-cousins", and various cousins, aunts and uncles have been incredibly supportive.  They know that in my Pisces nature, I will hide away as I usually do when there is something on my mind that I am trying to deal with but don't really know how.  Sometimes, I wish that I didn't feel the need to hide, but as I get older, I know that it's just part of who I am and am learning to accept that.  My family makes sure that I don't hide away for too long.  They text me or call me to check on me, or say "let's go to lunch - my treat" or "come over and let's sew" (that's from my mom).  The lunch invitations are the best.  I'm always game for free food.

I know that it worries them if I don't call or text or communicate in some way with them regularly.  I talk to my mom at least every other day - often way more than that.  Like several times a day.  I talk to my sister almost everyday, whether it be by text or call or Facebook.  Same with my stepmom.  I talk to Daddy about once a week.

I talk to the elder "big sister-cousin" ("D") nearly everyday and to the younger one  at least once a week.  D and I generally talk very late at night after everyone else is asleep.  She doesn't sleep well and I don't have to get up in the mornings so it works well for both of us. She gives me the "shoring up", as we say, that I need when I need it.

I guess what this rambling means is that I am so thankful for my huge, loving, loud and crazy-ass family.  Without them, I think I would be in a heavily padded room with a long list of medications at Holly Hill.

Unemployment

Unemployment just sucks balls.  I was laid off at the end of April and still haven't found a job.  I think  I've sent out about 50 resumes but have only had 2 interviews.  Sigh.....

I think H is really loving me being home.  His dad and I share 50/50 custody so when H is with me, I'm here if he needs me.  I *know* the monsters, I mean cats, are loving it.  Mama doesn't leave the apartment for very long, if at all.  They have become more clingy than they already were.  Sniper follows me everywhere, Harper squeaks when I walk in the room and has tried to claim the laptop as her personal warming station.  Georgie follows me and meows and Saturn is just her normal crazy-ass kitten self.

If I've been sitting on the porch longer than they think is appropriate, one or more of them will start batting at the door to tell me to come in.  Usually, it's Sniper, but sometimes the other 3 will join in.  H will usually come out here with a cat.  He says he's just showing them outside, but I think it's to make sure that I'm still here and haven't left without him knowing.

You know that irrational part  of your brain???  Well, that part of me is absolutely loving being at home.  But the rational part is telling me that since I've made friends with the squirrel that comes to visit, it's probably time to go back to work.

I'm hopeful that I will start getting some calls for interviews soon.  I'm getting a little too comfortable hanging out in my comfy-shorts and t shirts.....